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5 Ways to Get Your Parenting Energy Back

Parenting is a tough gig! A gig that demands a special kind of parenting energy, right? Don’t get me wrong, though. Hands down, it is the greatest gift ever, but tough nonetheless!

Everyday examples of ways to stop parenting on empty and get your parenting energy back. #exhaustedparent

I would say a good 75% of the things I find myself doing as a parent, were never part of my parenting vision! You see, it’s more in the moments. The moments that sometimes surprise us right after an episode of chaos and bedlam!

However,  even on the best of days – the ones filled with bright and shiny moments, parenting our children will always be one our greatest challenges.

Even on the best of days, parenting will always be one of our greatest life challenges #momlife #series #MomentsofHope Click To Tweet

You know what, though?  I am convinced that, all by ourselves, we make it more difficult than it need be. So, I spent some time interviewing several of my mama friends! I found a common thread of five ways they believed they had added unnecessary pressure and stress to their own parenting journey.

5 Ways We Add Stress to Our Parenting Journey

  1.  Allowing the concern for the future impact our reaction to today’s problem.

Although it is critically important to discern behaviors that will have an effect on the future of our children and handle them accordingly, we cannot allow that concern to cause us to react to every single offense. Picking battles is critical and making mountains out of molehills can be detrimental to our emotional parenting energy.

  1.  Micromanaging.

Not only is micromanaging a major emotional strength and parenting energy drainer, it steals from our children the critical skill of developing independence. Our children must live out some cause and effect scenarios in order to develop those life skills.

  1. Becoming the referee for all our children’s disagreements with each other.

Siblings will argue. And unless someone is getting hurt, they need to learn how to work through those arguments on their own. It is a lesson in problem solving that will last a lifetime.

  1.  Bearing the weight of the Super Hero Syndrome.

We cannot be and do all things for our children. From preschool to the college classroom, there will be events and situations outside of our control. As parents, we will burn out if we continue on the path of hyper-vigilance.

  1. Comparing ourselves to other parents.

God uniquely created each of us. In doing so, He didn’t expect us to be the same as every other parent. He gave us each our own way in which we can excel at loving and caring for the very children He placed with us. Our emotional energy will be drained before we get past their first year if we are trying to be who we are not! I know other mamas make phenomenal and creative lunches. I don’t and that is okay. I know in some other way I have something that another Mama doesn’t. And as long as I’m being the Mama God intended for me to be for the children He blessed me with, I know I’m doing okay!

  1. Focusing on feelings rather than facts.

If my child tells a lie, I can choose to deal with the lie. Or, I can think about all the ways I feel because my child lied. Betrayed, confused, hurt, angry, and inept. When I do that, though, I begin to allow emotions to fuel my response. In turn, I react instead of act. The situation becomes draining. Your child learns just how to push your buttons.

Focus on facts instead of feelings so that you can act not REACT! #parenting #MomentsofHope #series Click To Tweet
  1. Blaming ourselves for every poor choice or problem our children encounter.

Our children, as are we, are uniquely designed with a bend all their own. I am definitely a proponent of placing firm boundaries with consistent follow through. And there are definitely ways in which we can help our children manage their behaviors. However, as parents we cannot take ownership over every aspect of their personality. I love these three perspectives from Lysa Terkeurst:

1)Don’t take too much credit for their good.

2) Don’t take too much credit for their bad.

3) Don’t try to raise a good child. Raise a God-following adult.

Everyday examples of ways to stop parenting on empty and get your parenting energy back. #exhaustedparent

I think my mama friends had this right! I know I’m guilty of several of these at different times in my life. What about you? Do you see yourself somewhere in this list? If so, I challenge you to take hold of those thoughts and behaviors so that you can regain some of your energy and stop parenting on empty!

…Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” -Matthew 11:29-30 ESV

Are there any other energy draining culprits you have identified in your life? The kinds that if you had a do-over, you would handle differently? I’d love to have you share those in the comments this week!



Hope for the Back-to-School Mom Series

Missed part of the  Series? Get caught up HERE! Or by clicking on each image below!

7 Scriptures to Pray When Your Children Go to School; Preparing with prayer for your child's school year. | Lori Schumaker | Hope for the Back-to-School Mom | Praying for Children     To the Mom Desperately Searching for Balance in her Out Of Whack Life | Feeling the effects of an unbalanced life? How do we, as Moms manage it? And is there even such a thing?     Why We Need to Stop Letting Fear Control Our Parenting | Today's Parent #parenting     Everyday examples of ways to stop parenting on empty and get your energy back. #exhaustedparent

And when you subscribe to Searching for Moments and commit to filling your mind and heart with positive hope-filled content on a consistent basis, you get full access to the Library of Hope. From this series alone, you not only get the prayer image in this post, but you get the set of 7 Scripture Cards to pray for your child! Click HERE to subscribe!

7 Scriptures to Pray as Your Children Go to School



Featured #MomentsofHope Post

“When you embrace your identity in Christ you become unstoppable. There is nothing Satan can throw at you that you can’t defeat with the truth. ” -Latoya Edwards

Friends, I know I’ve said it before, but it can’t be said enough. Knowing who we are in Christ effects everything we will ever do in life and every relationship we will ever have. It is the foundation to a life lived with hope and in victory!

So, when I read Latoya Edwards’ article this week titled Why Knowing Who You Are is Essential for Victory, my heart lit up with fire! Her words here will make you want to know who you are and Who is He is. They will make you want to get up and fight the enemy!Why Your Identity in Christ Matters During Hard Times - Latoya Edwards

And, sweet friends, when you stop by Latoya’s site, would you please make sure to share hope with her, as well? When we leave comments, we encourage our sisters in Christ and give them hope ♥ Let’s make sure we do that as best we can with those who link up below, too!



#MomentsofHope Link-Up
Join us for the #MomentsofHope Link-Up! Share hope and be encouraged every Monday! #hope Click To Tweet

Each week I’ll be visiting as many posts as possible, sharing them to my Moments of Hope Group Board on Pinterest as well as my other social media platforms when applicable, and choosing one post each week to feature.

Thank you for joining me here each week to share the hope given to us through Christ. Whether your words come from a story that points to the full healing you have experienced in Christ, or its a story of the journey along the road to the healing you know He is working in you, it is giving hope to others. Your words matter and it honors me to have you share them here in this space!

What I ask of you:#MomentsofHope Link-up; www.lorischumaker.com; Read, share, and together hope for tomorrow.
  1. Share up to 2 blog post URLs resonating with the topic of HOPE. That which gives us hope for tomorrow and hope for victory. The little things and the big that inspire us to lean into Jesus and let Him carry us through.

2.#MomentsofHope is a place to give and get hope, so let’s encourage others in their efforts to share the hope of Jesus. If you have time, stop by more than one sweet writer’s little corner of the blog world!

  1. Please either grab the #MomentsofHope button found here or link back to me. If you’ve been featured, grab your button here!

Finally, find me linking up with these encouraging places!

[inlinkz_linkup id=737385 mode=1]

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22 Comments

  1. Great points! I’m down to one chick in the nest and, most likely, a three year span of years until he flies the nest as well, and my prayer right now is that I would finish well and honor God and this son in the way I continue to invest in this parenting life.

    Because we’ve got three sweet sons who have begun well as adults, I hear a lot of, “Oh, you’ve done such a good job,” but I always reply with something along the lines that the paint is still wet on this project, AND, if I take credit, I also have to take blame. As hard as we try and trust, we all stumble in this parenting journey.

  2. Because we love our kids so much, we end up getting entangled with what they do and don’t do as moms. I see that thread woven through all the answers that you and your mom friends came up with, Lori. We really need to take a step back and recognize these problems that you’ve identified. Thanks for helping us in that important role, my friend! Great post!

  3. Is it just me, or are the links to Latoya’s site all dead? : / Sorry! Want to read and comment but can’t find the post, even through Google.

    1. Thanks for the heads up Bethany and Maree! I think the issue is fixed with the link to Latoya’s site!

  4. Yes, I do see myself in the list. I almost skipped reading this post assuming it only applied to little children. However parenting never seems to end and we continue right into the adult years. Thank you for your list. We are getting ready to embark on a new scary plan in the parenting arena. I needed to be reminded of #2 and #4 and put all my trust in God not me. Thank you for your post. Maree

    1. Thank you, Maree! Yes, parenting never does seem to end, does it? I’m realizing that as my own kids grow, there will still be the concern of a mother’s heart, but the relationship turns more to a friendship. I’m excited for what’s to come, though I know this mother’s heart will always love like a mother!

    2. Thank you for the note about the links not working. I think they are corrected and should work now. Thank you!

  5. Loved this post, Lori! The balm I need in this crazy back to school season! I’m nodding my head with a big AMEN to all of your points!

    Also, if you feel led, would love to invite you to link up this series on my Mom-ventures Monthly Link Up this month. The theme is New Beginnings/Back to School and your posts couldn’t be more perfect for it! Link Up is at the bottom of my latest post on my blog: https://allisonwixted.com/2017/09/03/embracing-christ-in-chaos/.

    Blessings!

    1. Hi Allison! I’m so glad that this resonates with you. This sure is a busy season, isn’t it? Thank you for your kind words! Blessings as we keep pressing on through this season! I’ll be sure to stop by your link-up! Thank you for the invite!

  6. I laughed at this because it’s so true: “I would say a good 75% of the things I find myself doing as a parent, were never part of my parenting vision!” Your tips are very wise, Lori, not just for parenting, but just for life. We often take on things we weren’t designed to do!

    1. Oh, thank you, Lisa! It’s funny how very different parenting is compared to what we imagined, isn’t it?

  7. Oh how I loved these points of wisdom you shared. Parenting is so HARD! Love you friend! ❤

    1. Yes, parenting is hard! Thankfully, we have the Lord to lead and guide us! Blessings!

  8. Thanks for this list. I had one of “those” kinds of mom days and it was just what I needed. xo

    1. Oh, praying for you tonight, Kelly! He gives new mercies every morning – great is His faithfulness to us!

  9. You got me at your first sentence, saying “Amen” out-loud:) Yes, I add additional stress to myself and I need to follow your tips! You are so wise! Sharing this!

    1. Oh, Julie, thank you for sharing this post. I’m so glad that we can learn from each other. Blessings!