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How to Repair a Broken Identity

In what do you place your worth? Have you subconsciously allowed someone or something to become an idol? Is your identity rooted in what you do or how you do it? This week I am excited to share with you my friend, Alisa Nicaud of Flourishing Today, for another #ChosenandWorthy story. Alisa’s story, faith, and passion are evident in her every word. She is beautiful from the inside out and I know what she shares here today will help you recognize and repair a broken identity.



In what do you place your worth? Have you subconsciously allowed someone or something to become an idol? Is your identity rooted in what you do or how you do it? -How to Repair a Broken Identity #ChosenandWorthy - Alisa Nicaud for Lori Schumaker

Know who you are in Christ.

The words constantly rang in my mind.

I heard them from friends and in sermons.

Although I didn’t necessarily know what they meant, I knew the weightiness they held.

My whole life my identity had been wrapped up in accomplishments.

My worth was determined by successes.

But those things can only bring you so far before they come crashing down around you.

And you’re left with a broken identity.

In what do you place your worth? Have you subconsciously allowed someone or something to become an idol? Is your identity rooted in what you do or how you do it? -How to Repair a Broken Identity #ChosenandWorthy - Alisa Nicaud for Lori Schumaker

“It’s time for you to stop homeschooling.”

The words came as a shock. I couldn’t believe my husband was asking me to give this up. Just 5 years before, God had given me the task to educate our children.

Everything was going great! I had started several Classical Conversation homeschool campuses and had even applied to be a regional director.

I was succeeding. This was not the time to give up!

As I pondered his words, I saw everything I had worked for suddenly vanishing.

Letting this go was not going to be easy.

I was the homeschool mom.

I fought and bargained. But eventually God reiterated the same words….let it go.

I questioned God.

I wondered why He would let me become so vested in something that He would eventually call me away from. What would people think about me putting my kids back in school after I pushed so hard for them to be homeschooled?

I love that I can talk frankly with God.

He’s not surprised by my feelings, my frustrations or the questions I have for Him. As I began speaking to Him about this situation, He revealed my broken identity.

My worth and value had become wrapped up in homeschooling. Not only was it my identity, but my idol.

I had placed it above Him. I let it define me.

Therefore if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! 2 Corinthians 5:17 NIV

Jesus died so that I could made whole, in Him.

Anything that defines us will control us. #identity #ChosenandWorthy #hope @Alisa_Nicaud Click To Tweet

I want to be controlled by the Spirit and not the flesh. I want God’s best for my life.

As I processed through this with God my motives were exposed.

The reason I didn’t want to let go of homeschooling was not because I would miss it. The real reason was because I knew I’d feel lost without it. My fulfillment was found there.

Healing a Broken Identity

The next year would prove to be a very difficult year for me.

I felt purposeless. My days felt empty and alone.

But rather than give in, I pressed in.

There were 3 things that helped me recover from my broken identity.

In what do you place your worth? Have you subconsciously allowed someone or something to become an idol? Is your identity rooted in what you do or how you do it? -How to Repair a Broken Identity #ChosenandWorthy - Alisa Nicaud for Lori Schumaker

3 things to help heal a broken identity! #ChosenandWorthy #identity #hope @Alisa_Nicaud Click To Tweet

Intimately Know Jesus

This may sound like a strange point, since we already know Christ. But hang with me for a moment.

We can know about someone without really knowing them personally.

In fact, this was the kind of relationship I had with Jesus for years.

I went to church, read the stories of Jesus and even prayed in His name. But I didn’t really know Him intimately.

There wasn’t a personal connection.

It was more about religion than relationship for me.

As I studied the Word, spent time in prayer and visited with cheapest nolvadex online Jesus, I began to trust Him and rely on Him. The more I knew about Him, the more I began to know who He had created me to be. When we spend time talking with Him, He reveals things to our hearts.

After I gave up homeschooling, He began to speak to me about writing. Out of my difficult time, a dream was born!

Meditate on God’s Word

The Bible is full of scriptures that speak of our identity in Christ. As we meditate on them, they become embedded in our hearts and minds, helping us to have a firm foundation in Him.

Here are a few scriptures to get you started:

But to all who believed him and accepted him, he gave the right to become children of God. John 1:12 NLT

We know that our old sinful selves were crucified with Christ so that sin might lose its power in our lives. We are no longer slaves to sin. Romans 6:6 NLT

So God created human beings in his own image. In the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. Genesis 1:27 NLT

But you are not like that, for you are a chosen people. You are royal priests, a holy nation, God’s very own possession. As a result, you can show others the goodness of God, for he called you out of the darkness into his wonderful light. 1 Peter 2:9 NLT

Claim His Promises

This step is so important for knowing who we are in Christ. The more we claim His promises, the more confidence we have not just in who we are, but who He is! Here are a few of my favorite promises to claim:

I am safe in Christ and the evil one cannot come near me. (from 1 John 5:18)

I am established in righteousness. Oppression is far from me and fear does not come near me. (from Isaiah 54:14)

I have been given the mind of Christ. (from 1 Corinthians 2:16)

Greater is He is who is in me than he who is in the world. (from 1 John 4:4)

Are you suffering from a broken identity? Is your worth wrapped up in your successes or failures? Friend, God sent His Son to die for us so that we could be complete in Him. Knowing who we are in Christ simply means knowing what He died to give us. His promises to us are “yes” and “amen”. His inheritance to us is freedom and an abundant life. It’s ours for the taking.

 

 

 

 



About the author:

Flourishing Today

Alisa Nicaud currently lives just north of New Orleans, LA with her husband Philip Nicaud, their five children and their dog, Roux. She owns a boutique coaching practice and is the founder of the blog, Flourishing Today. Through her own tragedies, Alisa is intimately familiar with the struggles of anxiety, fear, insecurity and depression. Alisa’s willingness to be transparent gives her a unique advantage in relating to women from all walks of life and leadership. She freely shares helpful hints and practical encouragement rooted in Biblical truth in her posts and resources. Her passion is to help women grow in faith and walk in purpose. You can learn more by visiting her blog at www.flourishingtoday.com

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16 Comments

  1. Alisa, I can so hear your heart in this post! It can be very difficult to let go of the good things in our lives and trust that God has an even greater purpose that we don’t always see right away. Your ministry at Flourishing Today has been such a blessing to me and to the lives of so many women! Thank you for reminding us to find our identity not in the good gifts, but in the Gift Giver! Blessings to you, dear sister!

    1. Thank you, Christin!! ? It’s a daily struggle of laying down what I want for what He wants. My flesh screams performance and success, while His voice whisper surrender and rest. Blessings to you my friend. I’m so glad God crossed our paths!

  2. Nicole Kauffman says:

    Great post with some powerful and practical suggestions. I struggle with this often and I have definitely found how important it is to press into Christ and to claim His promises! Thank you for sharing this!

    1. I agree, Nicole! So many good suggestions here. I, too, struggle with this and needed each and every word!

  3. Alisa, this was a tough one, huh? It’s not easy to give up the thing we think we want most but sometimes God uses that time to bring us fully back to Him.
    Thanks for sharing your insights with us!
    Blessings,
    Marva | SunSparkleShine

    1. I’m so thankful your heart was encouraged today, Casey! Thank you for joining us!

  4. Thank you for sharing this piece of your life, Alisa. It’s wonderful to hear testimonies after we allow Him to make the adjustments our hearts need. My favorite way to intimately know the Lord is through worship. His presence is so good!

  5. Thank you so much for sharing your story, Alisa! In my own experience, it is particularly difficult to walk away from something I regarded as a ministry in service to God. I loved your mention of scriptural meditation. It is such a great way to know the Word in our hearts, not just in our minds. When repairing my own identity, I also found it helpful to ask loved ones what they saw in me and for my future.

    1. What a good idea, Melissa. Asking trusted loved ones who would speak truth in love. Thanks so much for stopping by and joining in on the conversation.
      Blessings and smiles,
      Lori

  6. Great thought on what defines you controls you. So true. Overcoming our fleshly tendency to find our worth and value in our accomplishments is such a subtle temptation. So often, we don’t even realize it.

    1. You are so right, Ginger! It really is a subtle temptation and we don’t realize it until we are knee-deep. These words Alisa wrote opened my eyes to some things I’m dealing with right now, too. Thankful for her wisdom and sharing here!
      Blessings and smiles,
      Lori

  7. These three sacred practices are so valuable and healing to us when our identity is broken, Alisa. I’m nodding my head because I was there too at one time Stuck in my brokenness and living a defeated life. But I followed these steps you’ve outlined and am now living in and embracing my identity in Christ in a way like I never had before. Inspiring words, my friend and I’m grateful that Lori has shared them with us! Happy Easter to you both!

    1. Beth,
      And look at all God is doing through both you and Alisa now! Pretty amazing! He turned defeat into victory and is using both of you to point to Him in such powerful ways! Much love to you and Happy Happy Easter!!!!
      Blessings and smiles,
      Lori

  8. Alisa, This meant so much to me. I appreciate your honesty and your courage in making such a difficult decision. I have homeschooled, too, and know all that is involved. I could totally relate to how very difficult that decision would be for you. Following the Lord is always full of surprises after the hard parts of taking those first steps in obedience. Your determination to follow God when it didn’t seem to make sense is so inspiring!