Parenting is a tough gig! A gig that demands a special kind of parenting energy, right? Don’t get me wrong, though. Hands down, it is the greatest gift ever, but tough nonetheless!
I would say a good 75% of the things I find myself doing as a parent, were never part of my parenting vision! You see, it’s more in the moments. The moments that sometimes surprise us right after an episode of chaos and bedlam!
However, even on the best of days – the ones filled with bright and shiny moments, parenting our children will always be one our greatest challenges.Even on the best of days, parenting will always be one of our greatest life challenges #momlife… Click To Tweet
You know what, though? I am convinced that, all by ourselves, we make it more difficult than it need be. So, I spent some time interviewing several of my mama friends! I found a common thread of five ways they believed they had added unnecessary pressure and stress to their own parenting journey.
5 Ways We Add Stress to Our Parenting Journey
Allowing the concern for the future impact our reaction to today’s problem.
Although it is critically important to discern behaviors that will have an effect on the future of our children and handle them accordingly, we cannot allow that concern to cause us to react to every single offense. Picking battles is critical and making mountains out of molehills can be detrimental to our emotional parenting energy.
Not only is micromanaging a major emotional strength and parenting energy drainer, it steals from our children the critical skill of developing independence. Our children must live out some cause and effect scenarios in order to develop those life skills.
Becoming the referee for all our children’s disagreements with each other.
Siblings will argue. And unless someone is getting hurt, they need to learn how to work through those arguments on their own. It is a lesson in problem solving that will last a lifetime.
Bearing the weight of the Super Hero Syndrome.
We cannot be and do all things for our children. From preschool to the college classroom, there will be events and situations outside of our control. As parents, we will burn out if we continue on the path of hyper-vigilance.
Comparing ourselves to other parents.
God uniquely created each of us. In doing so, He didn’t expect us to be the same as every other parent. He gave us each our own way in which we can excel at loving and caring for the very children He placed with us. Our emotional energy will be drained before we get past their first year if we are trying to be who we are not! I know other mamas make phenomenal and creative lunches. I don’t and that is okay. I know in some other way I have something that another Mama doesn’t. And as long as I’m being the Mama God intended for me to be for the children He blessed me with, I know I’m doing okay!
Focusing on feelings rather than facts.
If my child tells a lie, I can choose to deal with the lie. Or, I can think about all the ways I feel because my child lied. Betrayed, confused, hurt, angry, and inept. When I do that, though, I begin to allow emotions to fuel my response. In turn, I react instead of act. The situation becomes draining. Your child learns just how to push your buttons.Focus on facts instead of feelings so that you can act not REACT! #parenting #MomentsofHope… Click To Tweet
Blaming ourselves for every poor choice or problem our children encounter.
Our children, as are we, are uniquely designed with a bend all their own. I am definitely a proponent of placing firm boundaries with consistent follow through. And there are definitely ways in which we can help our children manage their behaviors. However, as parents we cannot take ownership over every aspect of their personality. I love these three perspectives from Lysa Terkeurst:
1)Don’t take too much credit for their good.
2) Don’t take too much credit for their bad.
3) Don’t try to raise a good child. Raise a God-following adult.
I think my mama friends had this right! I know I’m guilty of several of these at different times in my life. What about you? Do you see yourself somewhere in this list? If so, I challenge you to take hold of those thoughts and behaviors so that you can regain some of your energy and stop parenting on empty!
…Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” -Matthew 11:29-30 ESV
Are there any other energy draining culprits you have identified in your life? The kinds that if you had a do-over, you would handle differently? I’d love to have you share those in the comments this week!
Hope for the Back-to-School Mom Series
Missed part of the Series? Get caught up HERE! Or by clicking on each image below!
And when you subscribe to Searching for Moments and commit to filling your mind and heart with positive hope-filled content on a consistent basis, you get full access to the Library of Hope. From this series alone, you not only get the prayer image in this post, but you get the set of 7 Scripture Cards to pray for your child! Click HERE to subscribe!
Featured #MomentsofHope Post
“When you embrace your identity in Christ you become unstoppable. There is nothing Satan can throw at you that you can’t defeat with the truth. ” -Latoya Edwards
Friends, I know I’ve said it before, but it can’t be said enough. Knowing who we are in Christ effects everything we will ever do in life and every relationship we will ever have. It is the foundation to a life lived with hope and in victory!
So, when I read Latoya Edwards’ article this week titled Why Knowing Who You Are is Essential for Victory, my heart lit up with fire! Her words here will make you want to know who you are and Who is He is. They will make you want to get up and fight the enemy!
And, sweet friends, when you stop by Latoya’s site, would you please make sure to share hope with her, as well? When we leave comments, we encourage our sisters in Christ and give them hope ♥ Let’s make sure we do that as best we can with those who link up below, too!
#MomentsofHope Link-UpJoin us for the #MomentsofHope Link-Up! Share hope and be encouraged every Monday! #hope Click To Tweet
Each week I’ll be visiting as many posts as possible, sharing them to my Moments of Hope Group Board on Pinterest as well as my other social media platforms when applicable, and choosing one post each week to feature.
Thank you for joining me here each week to share the hope given to us through Christ. Whether your words come from a story that points to the full healing you have experienced in Christ, or its a story of the journey along the road to the healing you know He is working in you, it is giving hope to others. Your words matter and it honors me to have you share them here in this space!
What I ask of you:
- Share up to 2 blog post URLs resonating with the topic of HOPE. That which gives us hope for tomorrow and hope for victory. The little things and the big that inspire us to lean into Jesus and let Him carry us through.
2.#MomentsofHope is a place to give and get hope, so let’s encourage others in their efforts to share the hope of Jesus. If you have time, stop by more than one sweet writer’s little corner of the blog world!
- Please either grab the #MomentsofHope button found here or link back to me. If you’ve been featured, grab your button here!
Finally, find me linking up with these encouraging places!