Grief is like an arduous zigzagging hike.
Just when we think we’ve crested the mountain, there’s a sharp curve that lengthens the trek and forces us toward another step. One necessary if we ever want to reach the top.
… And walk in victory.
But, sometimes taking the next step feels like too much. Like we just want to look away from the curve or beg and plead for it to go away. Because we don’t want to face what will once again trigger our grief.
Sometimes we get angry in an effort to avoid it. Or fill our lives with to-do lists a mile long. But what we often fight are the tears that lead to surrender. The surrender that gently eases us into the waiting arms of the Faithful One. The One we resist leaning into – resist trusting as the One who holds all the pieces of this complicated puzzle together.Surrender gently eases us into the waiting arms of the Faithful One #grief #hope #MomentsofHope Click To Tweet
My personal grief isn’t the loss of a loved one from this world. I didn’t lose my child. She is still here with us. But with time, we lose another milestone we dreamed she’d someday accomplish. We lose the wholeness we prayed God would grant.
It’s backsliding instead of forward motion and it triggers the grief all over again.
Friends, I’ve looked away, endlessly busied myself, gotten angry when there was no need, and begged God to take it away. Maybe it’s part of the process of trusting to another degree. A part of the preparation for another season. Maybe it’s simply my own stubbornness because I want to fix it. I want to find the treatment, the therapy, or the answer that will solve all of my child’s struggles.
But maybe, because my heart is aching so desperately for her healing that a little piece of me is wrestling with the God whose character I know and have experienced as GOOD ALL THE TIME.
Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in him –Psalm 34:8
Yes. Wrestling with the truth of His goodness and the fact that He hasn’t chosen to heal my child yet.
So in the wrestling, I hold back, not leaning into the One waiting there to ease my broken heart, but instead allowing frustration to overwhelm my soul and steal my joy.
I allow it the liberty of blinding me to His goodness displayed around me.
I miss the joy in those moments where her eyes and mine connect on deeper levels because I’m wrestling with how few those moments are.
I miss the fullness of laughter in our home because I’m wrestling with what the next moment brings.
I miss a good night’s sleep because I’m wrestling with the calls and plans I need to make the next day.
The wrestling continues until I come to the end of me. With the tears pouring out, His Word in my hand and on my lips, God and I come heart-to-heart. He’s there. His mercies new every morning. His faithfulness never-ending.
I lean in, easing into the rest He provides. I know He’s capable and somehow, some way He will make a way.
Now grief has once again completed a cycle.
Thus says the Lord, who makes a way in the sea, a path in the mighty waters, Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert. -Isaiah 43:16,19 (ESV)
Featured #MomentsofHope Post
When I’m in the midst of grieving, I easily allow false guilt to take up room in my mind and heart. Guilt that says I’m not good enough because I can’t find the answers or fix the problems we are facing. It’s an area the enemy loves to attack and if I’m not careful and intentional, I forget God’s truth that says my worth is not in what I can accomplish. My worth is simply because I am His. A part of His family and created in His image. I forget that I am #ChosenandWorthy! (Catch all the posts here!)
So, of course as I was reading through all of the powerful hope-filled posts linked here last week at #MomentsofHope, I was drawn in by Dr. Michelle Bengston’s, Whose Opinion Counts?
I spent many years listening to wrong opinions. Too many years, in fact, not really appreciating what God said about me. I lived too long believing that God was mad at me, and that He needed me to be perfect in order to love me.
What if we decided to no longer let the enemy destroy our identity and dealt with the issue of self-hatred? What if we stopped giving so much credit to the opinions of others, and cared only about the One whose opinion counts? What if instead of going down the road of comparing ourselves to others we stopped and said, “Father, I’m about to beat myself up, but before I do, why don’t you tell me what you think of me? How do you see me, Father?”
Take the time to read this post, friends. Her blog is a place where the hope flourishes. It’s in her writings, her life story, and in her passion to see others lead hope-filled lives. And then when you finish, be sure to bless her back with encouragement done the #MomentsofHope way ♥
Just in case this is your first visit here and you have yet to tune into the #ChosenandWorthy series, you can find the posts HERE and then subscribe below so that you don’t miss any of what’s to come!
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Welcome back to #MomentsofHope! Thank you for joining me here each week to share the hope given to us through Christ. Whether your words come from a story that points to the full healing you have experienced in Christ, or its a story of the journey along the road to the healing you know He is working in you, it is giving hope to others. Your words matter and I am honored to have you share them here in this space!
NEW NEW NEW – Featured here at #MomentsofHope?Grab the new Happily Featured button! Just stop by the #MomentsofHope page in the menu above or here to find it!
Thank you so much for joining me each week in this place where we share and soak HOPE! Your hearts are a gift to me.♥
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- Share up to 2 URLs (to a blog post, not the actual blog) that resonates with the topic of HOPE. Anything that gives us hope for tomorrow. Hope for victory. The little things and the big. Anything that inspires us to lean into Jesus and let Him carry us through.
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