I have a beautiful little daughter. She is a precious creation. So unique. So strong. A fighter beyond what most of us can imagine.
When we walked through our adoption process, the day we saw her photo we knew, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that she was the one God had planned as our little girl. We struggled through the process and, oh my stars, was it ever a struggle. Obstacle after obstacle jumped in our way. We dreamed of the day we would be through all the red tape and we could officially be a family complete. We thought the worst of the trials would finally be over. We expected transitions and possible attachment issues and global delays. We prepared ourselves with knowledge, counselors, and doctors for all of that. We were beyond ready to breathe the sigh of relief that would say “we made it”.
But we hadn’t. Not even close. The sigh of relief has yet to come. We are still fighting for our little girl.
We never could have dreamed of the fight we would be facing in the years to come. But God knew. He had prepared us as a family of faith and a family of tenacity. He placed in our hearts a love for a beautiful child who was
chosen, cherished, and beloved.
There are nights I sit with a heart filled to overflowing as I soak deep into my heart treasured moments I have with my daughter.
Sometimes we see emotional and mental progress.
Sometimes we get small tastes of the kinds of moments we dream of having with our sweet girl.
But then it happens. That little girl is gone. Replaced with rages, tics, opposition, obsessive compulsive disorder. A disconnected look in her eyes tells us she is not with us anymore. We don’t have a time line. We just wait because the suffering stretches for days, weeks, or months.
Those are the mornings my heart breaks into a million pieces.
Each and every time, I grieve for the pain she must live with and the loss of my daughter as I know her.
I’ve been praying since before I met her…fervently…boldly. And we have witnessed so many answers to prayer. But the healing hasn’t come yet. I still have hope, though, and I believe in the power of prayer to change things. Her disease is horrible. It strips away a child’s mind without a moments notice. It is called PANDAS or PANS and you can read more about it here.
But, I cannot believe God would free her from the chains of an institution half way around the world to have her bound by the chains of a disease here.
I believe there is healing. I expect healing. And not just for Selah. She is not the only child and we are not the only family pushing and fighting their way through this. There are so many more. I’m going to keep praying…and praying…for Selah and each and every one of these children and their families. Praying and expecting healing to someday come.
Pray with me? And believe?
The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. John 10:10
The LORD will protect him and preserve his life; he will bless him in the land and not surrender him to the desire of his foes. The LORD will sustain him on his sickbed and restore him from his bed of illness. Psalm 41:2-3
Blessings and smiles,
I am linking this post up #liveFreeThursday with Suzie Eller. Although written over a year ago, we are still in the fight with this disease. But we are still expecting healing! When I saw Suzie’s writing prompt, I had to grab this from back in time 🙂