Although I played the part quite well, peace was something that eluded me for much of my life. I was quick with a smile and loved laughter, but there was something I was hiding.
Within myself lived conflicted moments I’d mull over for days. Sleepless nights and even nightmares told me the thoughts were not in control. Thoughts of falling short of a requirement or not living up to expectations. Fears of doing something wrong that would cause the falling apart of everything I cared about.
Or my heart.
Or my mind.
I’d try to control all the pieces to the puzzle. Juggling them to and fro, hoping that when they landed, they would somehow all be in perfect order. But I knew the truth. I couldn’t control everything in life and eventually all that I was juggling would end up crashing to the floor.
That lifestyle didn’t represent the freedom available in Christ.
It’s not been easy and I’m still in the trenches, but friends, I’m here today to tell you there is hope.
There is hope for peace.
Peace when fear threatens to keep you stuck.
Peace when failure inevitably happens.
Peace in the midst of conflict.
My personal journey to peace represents a marathon. One where I’ve crossed several mile markers, but not quite the finish line I long for. But holding onto those mile markers is important. Celebrating each one and the work God is doing is what progress is all about!
So, in the spirit of celebrating #MomentsofHope, I must celebrate when God joyfully points to that latest mile marker!
A month ago, we found out we had high levels of toxic mold in our home. It was actually an answer to prayer because after months and months of doctors for my son and myself, we had an answer for the rapid and unexplainable decline in our health. It was and is cause for celebration because there is new hope now! But it also means a lot of remediation and reconstruction.
Add that to my already full schedule of maintaining medical needs for my daughter’s special needs, school for all three children, sports, and their regular health maintenance.
And to top it all off, these last couple of months have been an unusually big season of travel for our family. (All good and fun adventures, but an added dimension to the responsibility lists)
But last night is when God showed me the mile marker.
I sat in an airport waiting with my daughter as our plane delayed over and over again. Mysteriously, as we had walked through security, my telephone stopped working. No calls, no texts, no nothing.
Stuck in the airport with a little one who didn’t want to be there and no phone. Argh!
For a moment, I felt the anxiety creeping in and the tears wanting to overflow.
But then I stopped. Instead I praised God for a wallet, restaurant, free wi-fi and my computer. I popped onto my computer and called on my favorite prayer warriors!
In that instant the mile marker memories flashed through my mind.
My husband’s comment to our friends that I’d been a champ throughout this mold process.
The interaction with a friend that hadn’t left me sleepless.
My sweet friend’s laughter as she witnessed me living by the seat of my pants in a new Uber experience that I had left to the very last moment!
It was then that I realized certain areas of control and fear no longer have their hold over me.
As I looked down at my daughter’s face, I knew God’s peace was in me. He’d brought me so very far in this pursuit of peace. In this moment the buttons that had the potential to flare my anxiety, were no longer pushable. My sweet girl wasn’t going to get a Mama who was losing it. She’d get a Mama whose compass was locked on peace and who could be the rock solid comfort she needed in order to know that everything was going to work out just fine. Even if we DID have to wait in the airport for 8 1/2 hours!
Friends, God’s peace is there. It takes a lot of work to surrender all our worries. To re-wire our brains to think in a different way. To align our lives with the Word of God. But it can happen. Jesus is there and He doesn’t leave us the way we were. He reaches in and fills the places of fear and insecurity. It’s His promise. He told me so and He’s telling you, too!John 14:27 is my favorite prayer of peace. Pray this scripture and grab the printable while you… Click To Tweet
This week as I was reading through each of the posts shared here at #MomentsofHope, there was one that jumped out at me. I think it spoke to me because it was about falling. Falling down, falling short, falling into distraction. Who out there doesn’t identify with that concept? It’s always been one of my peace snatchers. It hides as the fear of failing to finish well. Karen Woodall of Switchbacks beautifully tells the story of an Olympic runner from this summer’s competitions. It’s one of those stories that make the Olympics about so much more than winning an event! I won’t give it away, but this story will remind you that peace is available in all situations and that falling down is usually only a new place to start.
And, just so you know …
I’m so glad you’re here. ♥
What I ask of you:
1. Share only one URL (to a blog post, not the actual blog) that resonates with the topic of HOPE. Anything that gives us hope for tomorrow. Hope for victory. The little things and the big. Anything that inspires us to lean into Jesus and let Him carry us through.
2. Important: If you don’t have a blog post or podcast that resonates with HOPE, join in other ways as you pray and encourage others with a comment or a prayer.
3. Leave a comment on the link just before yours. Would you love on them well? Encourage them in their efforts to share the hope of Jesus. If you have time, stop by more than one sweet writer’s little corner of the blog world!
4. Of course, I would love it if you would follow me via my blog and/or social media channels! Signing up for my blog gets you fun freebies and post updates, plus I get to know you a little better!
5. If this gives you hope, would you consider sharing it with others to give them hope, too?
6. Please either grab my button or link back to me to encourage new linkers.