I remember the hours spent in the little green glider rocker. Bleary-eyed from lack of sleep, hormone induced roller coaster emotions, and a body that frankly didn’t even feel like my own. Some days I yearned simply for a shower or someone to talk to above the age of 3. Other days a silent room and some white space sounded like a little piece of Heaven.
Yet in the midst of it all, I wanted to hold onto the moments and pull my babies in for one more snuggle. I wanted to stare at the miracle of them. Watch the rise and fall of their breathing chests and hear one more baby sigh in the middle of their deep sleep.
It was everything to me.
So much so that I allowed this season of parenting to define my identity and determine my worth.
Can you relate? Maybe the season you have allowed to define and determine your worth isn’t this one, but perhaps it’s another. Maybe it’s a season of education, climbing a career ladder, marriage, ministry, health, or fitness?
In spite of 9 months of perfectly healthy ultrasounds, our eldest entered the world with a genetic health condition effecting his intestines. As a new Mama facing her first baby’s health crisis, I was a mess.
As I sat in the NICU with my baby hooked up to a myriad of tubes and wires, I kept hearing words of condemnation echo throughout my mind.
It must be my fault.
My baby, the very one who, in that moment of birth, opened my heart to a love unlike any I’d ever experience or imagined possible, was in pain. I couldn’t fix it. Was there something I could have done differently during pregnancy?
And then, when it came to nursing, I couldn’t make that happen either. Not for either of my boys. Guilt ravaged my spirit. What was wrong with me? Why couldn’t I succeed at getting my children the best possible nutrition?
From sleep schedules, illnesses, feeding struggles, and potty training. To sex, not-so-great dinners, a messy house, and financial trials.
In my mind it pointed to one thing.
I was falling short in every area of my life.
But what I forgot was that God never created me as a perfect being. Falling short is part of His design. Honestly, if I didn’t fall short, I would have no need for Him. The only One who has and will never fall short.
And there was one more important truth I failed to recognize.
My identity wasn’t determined by that season of life.
I’d gotten it all wrong. I allowed myself to feel that I was only as good as my successes as a mother. And let me tell you, for even the best of Mamas, there are far more missed shots than there are field goals.
You see, I’m worthy because I was created in the image of God. Period.
Not worthy if I am made in the image of God AND I score more than I miss. Not worthy if my children are healthy OR well-behaved.
So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. –Genesis 1:27
Friends, we are designed with our own unique gifts and abilities which may look strikingly different from those of the woman sitting next to us. And although she may not have a messy house right now, she may be in another season of life that has its own set of missed shots. We are each in different chapters of life and it makes no sense to compare one to the other.
All we can do, sweet sisters, is live each season of life with all that we’ve got. Notice the moments, grab hold of them, and live with gratitude for who and what God gives us. But hold Truth out in front of us as a reminder that our season of life is not our identity. It is not who we are. Our season of life is only what we do.
Which means that amidst both failures and successes we are always #ChosenandWorthy.Our season of life is not WHO we are.It is only WHAT we do. #lostidentity #chosenandworthy Click To Tweet
These days I’m in a new season. The littles have grown. Their needs are very different now and the challenges new. Seemingly overnight I went from the Mom Who Knows All to the Mom Who Lost Her Mind. And can you believe I’ve even caught those stinkers rolling their eyes? Ugh!
Occasionally, I notice myself going there. Down the path of a seasonal identity. Those rolling eyes? The tone? The attitude? Yup. A kick in the good old worth.
It’s simply about giving my best, pointing to Him while I do it, and stepping forward.
If my kids don’t make the choices I would have them make, or they go down paths that break my heart, it will hurt. Rest assured the tears will fall.
But I’ll cling to the truth that tells me my worth doesn’t fluctuate with my children’s choices. It remains the same because God remains the same.Our worth doesn't fluctuate with our children's choices! #lostidentity #chosenandworthy #seasons #hope Click To Tweet
Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. –Hebrews 13:8
Because I am a child of God, created in His image, I am valuable. Yes. I know I’ll need reminders. I know I’ll have to pray it, speak it, and claim it every single day.
But the Truth will never change.
I’m not sure what the next season involves. But I know the truth of who I am. How about you? In what season of life are you? Are you straining under the weight of a broken identity? Do you struggle to remember you are #ChosenandWorthy because you have given what you do the power to define your worth?
It’s time to stop, sweet friends.
Your seasons of life will change several times, but your identity will not.
You are a child of God and created in His image.
Therefore you are chosen. You are worthy. You are a called wonderful.
Could you use more tools and resources to help you embrace a healthy identity?
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